So we are staring down the start of another school year. My youngest starts July 28th, and my oldest starts August 6th. I’m usually excited about the beginning of a new school year, but this year I’m a little nervous. Last year was a rough year for both boys.
This year my oldest will be starting a new school for the first time since he started pre-K. His new school looks awesome, small class sizes, individualized learning plans, but it is also a special needs school. This means that I can no longer hide from my kids’ diagnosis, that only close friends and family know the whole story. Now, anytime anyone asks what school he goes to, they will immediately know he has a diagnosis.
His new school is for kids on the Autism Spectrum. My son was first diagnosed PDD-NOS when he was 6 years old, 4 years ago. Which for those of you that have no idea what that means, it basically means that he has high functioning autism or Aspergers, but doesn’t quite fit all the criteria.
No, not Halloween, June....
What it means for my son is that for the most part he seems “just a little quirky”. He is an absolute rule follower! It is black and white, no gray area. He also doesn’t get sarcasm, although it’s getting better. It used to be that after every sarcastic or joking comment I would have to tell him “that was a joke”. Now he’ll look at me and say “you’re joking, right?”.
He can also be very difficult to play with. He wants to set rules for any game or activity that him and his friends play. If they don’t want to follow his rules he will either get mad and yell, or decide to play by himself. There is no compromise in his world. He spends a lot of time playing by himself near friends rather than with friends. Luckily one of the things his new school works on is teaching social skills, so I’m pretty excited about that.
He also gets very anxious about things which can lead into full blown anxiety attacks. Sometimes you can see it coming, sometimes you can’t. We haven’t had any major blow outs in awhile, but the last one came at a school trip to the natural history museum. An animatronic dinosaur started moving and roared and he flipped out! The teacher had to take him down the back stairs of the museum to be able to get him out, and he refused to go back in. He’s also scared of heights. Most carnival rides are a no go unless it stays flat and just spins. Spinning is okay.
with a series of triangles on top!
He doesn’t sleep, without nightly melatonin he would lay in bed for hours. Even with the melatonin he will go to sleep, but is sometimes up several times during the night, and still wakes up for the day at 6:30/7 in the morning.
Further testing due to grades slipping and him struggling showed us that he also has dyslexia, and not just dyslexia but double defecit dyslexia affecting his writing, reading, and math. He has a brilliant mind (we have tests showing us that too! LOL) but it’s trapped in there! So frustrating for him and us!
His obsessions are cars and cats. He has loved hot wheels since he was a toddler. Still loves them and plays with them. He also loves all things cats which means he picks out a notebook for school with a cute little kitten on it, and I cringe because I know he’s going to get crap for it. It also means that he has read the ASPCA’s Cat Care Manual hundreds of times and can watch Gas Monkey Garage episodes for hours!
He has occupational therapy once a week or developing motor skills and a therapist on occasion when anxiety and social issues are at an all time high.
It may sound like I’m only focusing on the negative, but to me a lot of these are strengths too. Do you know how easy it is to have a ‘rule follower’ for a child?? If I tell him not to do something he doesn’t do it! It’s awesome! (Until he points out you’re speeding or that you didn’t fully stop at that stop sign)! He is immensely knowledgeable in his likes and I happen to like working on my car, so that gives us something in common. For the most part he acts like an adult, so he’s easy to take places and do things with. I also dislike heights, so we get to hang out and do other things while his brother and Daddy do the scary rides at fairs and amusement parks. He won me a giant minion at a carnival game at Legoland, very 1st try he nailed it! I was so excited and his response was a nonchalant, “I told you I could do it.” He sure did!
I guess my biggest issue with coming right out and telling people about his PDD-NOS is that they always start off saying, “really? He seems so normal to me.” I’m not sure what people mean when they say that. Are they questioning his diagnosis? Do they want me to list his shortcomings to prove he fits the diagnosis? Do they think that we haven’t done countless hours of therapies with professionals and at home over the past four years to get to this stage of “normal”? And what the hell is normal anyway? Because anyone who has met me would agree that I’m not that “normal” either!
Starting August 6th I’m going to have to be loud and proud, because that’s when school starts and I will no longer be able to focus on only the anxiety and dyslexia portions of his diagnosis. My kid is super intelligent, funny, kind, handsome, and now I can include that he is Ausome! (See! Some autism humor right there!)
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